...and then I turned 49

What a birthday! How lucky am I??? Wowzers - I'd like to thank the fantastic & enthusiastic crowd of Friends who took the time today to wish me Happy Birthday!

With most of my blood relatives on the high seas & beyond the reach of technology, it was nice to have so many of you to 'fill the gap'!

I enjoyed my annual day of "Eating Many Bad Things", to the point where tomorrow's recommitment to healthy habits feels ... oddly comforting.

I had a great birthday dinner with my very favorite people, I got an unbelievably thoughtful & unexpected present, and I find myself filled with the warm glow of gratitude.

I'm ending the night with my annual piece of chocolate/chocolate cake, and a little Bourbon in one of my Grandfather's USNA glasses. To everyone near, far, and no longer with us - THANK YOU, today was a great birthday. Now it's just 364 days until I'm 50!!!!

Non-scale victories

Sometimes, it's good to focus on victories other than a simple number on the bathroom scale.

(Especially during the Holidays, when maybe it's tough to keep the needle moving in the right direction!)

So, looking at that picture, the top left is my old signet ring, which was downsized not too long ago, and is now big enough to require a spacer.

The watch with the brown strap shows three different wear marks, and is now worn in the smallest size.

The two rings with colored stones are my old High School & Marine Corps rings - which now both fit in their original sizes!

Lastly, the big stainless steel watch has now been downsized another link, for a total of two that have been removed in the last year.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm still epic-fat, with at least 100lbs more weight than I should have - but DAMN if it's not great motivation to see these small indicators that show how far I've come!

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Today I was bringing Christmas stuff down from the attic, and I decided to open two ancient old plastic bins of clothes that I put up there 12 years ago when I moved here. I don't think these have been opened in more than 20 years, since my time in Oregon. I *think* this stuff was Christmas presents in '90 or '91, when I'd first started gaining weight after my time in the service.

This stuff is from Britches, Gap, and Brooks Brothers, mostly XXL, but some XL stuff.

...and it all smells like 1989...

No you don't...

Recently, while I was pumping gas, a guy walking by commented on my sunglasses, saying, "Nice shades Dude, I have a pair just like 'em!"

No, you don't.

I don't mean to be rude or condescending, but ... 

No.  You.  Don't.

Today I was reading a bit on the interwebs, and an article caught my eye, but not for the content.  There was a picture of Father John Misty wearing shades ALMOST like mine.

You see, even celebrities can't duplicate MY style!

How is this possible, you ask?

Well, it all started a few years ago (2008-ish?), when I was feeling the sting of seeing 40 in the rearview mirror.  One of several things I began to work on was my personal style.

I could write a whole article on what I tried, what failed, and what I'm still struggling with today; however, I've had a few nice wins, and my sunglasses are one of those.

Since the '80's, I've always worn classic aviators or variations on Wayfarers.  I had a brief & unfortunate dalliance with technical / performance sunglasses, but when I was ready to redefine my style, I knew I had to stay true to my roots.

Enter Moscot.  They are an old brand, which turned 100 this year.  One of the designs in the "Originals" collection that particularly appealed to me was the "Lemtosh".  Similar in profile to Wayfarers, they have the classic keyhole nose opening, with a rounder look to the eyes.

But I didn't want something "off the shelf", I wanted a uniquely classic look.  After trying frames in both the clear & blonde, I had a brainwave.  Both were "good", but not "great", until I swapped the arms for a nice two-tone look I'd had in a previous pair of cheapie "cheater" glasses.

Now, I just had to decide how to utilize two nearly identical frames!  Figuring that one pair should become sunglasses, the other pair easily became readers.  I chose to put the tinted lenses in the clear frames, so that the clear reading lenses would be in the darker frames - continuing the contrasting look for both pairs.

For the sunglasses, I looked at more than a dozen shades of green lenses, eventually going with a lighter, classic Ray Ban - perfect for overcast, dreary days, yet still good enough for full summer sun.

The result is an updated classic, unlikely to be copied, or go out of style.

Let's hope I don't lose them... 

Stay The Course

A month ago I weighed 316, and I had grand visions of losing 17 pounds by the end of the year, and I'd celebrate my birthday with fanfare & trumpets, and I'd begin 2016 under 300 pounds for the first time since 1995.

Well, shit! Today I weighed in at 324.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Yes, last week was Thanksgiving. Yes, I ate off-plan.

One meal.

One plate.

So...it wasn't Thanksgiving. Perhaps it was the 5lb bag of pre-shelled walnuts I got at CostCo? Perhaps it was the carb-creep of adding french fries & 'easy' side items, when veggies aren't available? Not enough salad? Skipping a workout here & there?

Maybe all of the above?

I need to re-dedicate, re-focus, and re-commit.

But dammit, I'm tired...

Entering Month 15...

I'm eating well, I'm doing my walking, and I'm exercising...

...kind of...

...and, I'm sick of it! I'm TIRED if being "good", and "doing the right thing."

Jesus, that's exhausting...

I want the occasional slice of pizza, glass of Bourbon, or (God forbid!), popcorn!!!

My willpower is worn down. A year ago when I was losing 10lbs a month, it was EASY to keep up the motivation. These days? When it takes twelve weeks to lose five pounds, the motivation is MUCH harder to summon.

...and I want popcorn.

...and when I read about the powerful benefits of 85% dark chocolate, I want that, too.

...and after doing 200 miles on my bike in September, I barely did 25 in October.

...and after fourteen MONTHS of doing Aqua Fit two to three times a week like clockwork, in October I only went three or four times.

Period.

...and you know what? I did not gain a single damn pound!

GREAT!

...except...

Now it suddenly feels ok to skip working out while cruising grocery stores for premium chocolate & organic non-gmo popcorn.

This, my friends, is the entry way to Crazy Town, and the path of The Devil...

I cannot give up, and I cannot allow myself to cave-in.

I'm only halfway done, and going forward this shit is going to be harder than it's ever been, by a WIDE margin - it'll be a damn tough fight, every step of the way...

So, what do I do?

We just passed Halloween, and while thinking I was totally cool these days to have just one baby Snickers, I lost my shit & ate about six of those damn things. In one month, I ate my way through two large jars of popcorn. I've had more 'healthy' premium 85% chocolate bars than I can count.

...and when my weight stays the same, my food-addicted brain tells me it's ok. I get the warm comforting hug of happy brain chemicals. (Wheee!) All while wondering why I suddenly have skin break-outs, poor energy, and a lethargic attitude.

We are now in 'The Red Zone' for the Holidays - the absolute toughest time of the year for us food addicts. And we are overdue for our first snow flurries, when our bicycles typically get put away.

So, being the crazy-person I tend to be...

I hereby commit to re-commit! I am setting three goals:

1. Eat totally clean Nov 3rd through Dec 29
2. Hit the usual exercise (walk 10k daily, 2x Aqua Fit & 2x weights / week)
3. 200 miles on the bike by New Year's (even in the snow!)

That gives me eight solid weeks. If I do this well, I should be able to get under 300lbs for New Year's - and wouldn't THAT be a kick-ass way to start 2016?

We manage what we measure

Have you heard that old saying, "We manage what we measure?"

It's trite, but true.  If we can't (or won't) measure something, how could we possibly manage it to a better outcome?

In my professional life, I just happen to be working on a project dealing with "reporting metrics".  We are developing KPI's, or, "Key Performance Indicators."  These metrics will tell us how specific functions in our department are measuring up.  

Wouldn't it be interesting to apply the same principle to our personal lives?  What would YOUR personal "KPI Dashboard" show you?  

How much you have in your bank accounts, 401k, credit cards, and mortgage debt?  Does it give you a gauge on how long you'll have to work before you can retire?  These metrics are easily defined & can be measured, reported, and "trended" fairly easily - but how many of us actually do it?

The same is true of our health - our PHYSICAL health, instead of our FISCAL health.  After all, what good is our cash savings if we won't live to spend it???

Now, I know that measuring our personal health statistics won't always give an accurate gauge of how long we'll live - but how many of us even know the most basic health info about ourselves?

What's your blood pressure?  What was it 5 or 10 years ago?  Are you trending well? What about the same trend analysis for your resting heart rate, or how quickly your heart rate returns to resting level after being elevated to 70% capacity?  How many of us even know what a heart rate of 70% capacity means - or what our heart rate is at that level?

That level, and more importantly, the time it takes to RECOVER (back down to resting) is a great indicator of general health, which correlates to lower mortality.

Now, I know it's not fun to talk about mortality rates, and where each of us score on that curve - but sticking our heads in the sand won't help either.

I'm fat.  Fat enough to be called "Morbidly Obese."  I may be down 120lbs, but I'm also still 100lbs from the magical weight where I'll still be considered "Obese".  That's a tough road to continue traveling, but I also know that it's a number that paints an incomplete picture.

For instance, I rode my bike 70 miles this week, with 50 of that in the last THREE days!  And this morning I don't feel wrecked, sore, or damaged.  THAT is an indicator of GREATLY improved health - especially when you look at me a year ago.  When I couldn't even jog up a flight of stairs!

How do I measure that?  What's my trending?  How do I show this on a dashboard???

I know I'm pushing a boulder uphill, and some days are better than others, but I truly feel it's important to measure where we are, know what that means, and to celebrate our 'wins'.  Maybe, disappointingly, not everything is an easy number to graph - but we all know when we have a big "win".

So - what are YOU winning at?

Quarter Century Ride

I did it! 25 miles...

...and just two days earlier I did 20 miles, which was a significant achievement over my previous record of 14 from 8 weeks ago!

The best part? Being fit enough to ride 50 miles in three days, and NOT feel wrecked the day after!

Under this protective layer of remaining blubber, I have an ass of STEEL!!!

Keep on Keepin' on!

Now that I'm past my one year mark, I'm really trying to think a bit differently...

Of course, my eating is still solid! I'm still doing the strict Paleo thing, eating 'clean', high quality, well sourced, 'real' food. To me, 'Paleo' isn't about historical re-enactment or any such nonsense - it's simply a framework to encapsulate my eating in way that is healthful for body AND mind!

However, I still have to watch my cravings, trigger foods, and old habits around emotional eating.

I've come to the painful conclusion that I haven't actually 'figured anything out', rather, it's a process; and as my body changes, so must my habits continually change. What a damn pain THAT is, right? At least I recognize it, hard as it is...

I'm also evolving on the other end of the spectrum, with my physical activity. After a year of Aqua Fit & walking, in the last six months I've added bike riding & bodyweight exercises into the mix. I thought I was doing GREAT, and was getting seriously STRONG, until I met with my trainer...and I realized that no matter how far I've come - I'm a weak & fragile shell of my former self! Torture via Yoga Ball is a terribly effective way to humiliate any sense of self esteem I'd built back in the last year - but it's an absolutely essential reality check to keep me from doing stuff that may cause serious injury.

I have a lot of work to do - and before I can start with the super-awesome barbell weight lifting, I have to be able to balance my fat ass on a yoga ball, while being able to lift individual limbs.

Core strength & balance ... that's what it all comes down to!

(With a terrible leavening of foam roller use!)

So - here I am, eating well while trying to be better, exercising well while trying to be smarter, and still evolving the whole package.

ONE YEAR

Holy Crap! Can you believe it's been a whole year? A WHOLE DAMN YEAR!!!

Take a good look at that picture. The bottom left is my starting point. In that picture, note the tip of my belt just barely touching the first belt loop. In the picture just to the right, I'm holding the tip of the exact same belt in my fingers.

Damn!

In the top row of pictures, look at the one where I'm in a white t-shirt. You'll notice I'm standing inside ONE LEG of those short!!!

Damn!

I wonder where I'll be a year from now?

Progress

It's amazing how successful the basics are. Granted, some dinners may feel like Broccoli with a side of Salmon, but three weeks ago I was 5lbs heavier. Four months ago, I was 20lbs heavier. I'd love to be losing more, but I'm thrilled with continued progress!

Progress on The Bicycle Issue

I have been wanting to go bike riding for several years. Last fall when I started losing weight, I got motivated, and I bought a bike on-line through a KickStarter campaign. It was delivered around Christmas, and in late March the weather finally cleared up enough for me to get out & ride.

…but of course the story doesn't end there…

It's a lot more complicated than one would think. Assembly was just the first step. Figuring out tire pressures, seat height, and seat angle were all time consuming. Learning the gear shifts, the brake temperament, and pro/cons of water bottle placement all took more time. Then I noticed frame flex & creaking. Then I had two pinch-flats. After realizing I needed a different front handlebar configuration, I realized this awesome bike was rated for a max weight 75lbs less than what I currently weight. I realized I was going to tear this bike apart if I kept riding it.

So, then came Bike #2.

HEAVY DUTY! And by "heavy", I assure you, not only can this bike handle my weight, it actually weighs a ton itself! This bike has special Kevlar tires, special heavy duty wheel rims, special heavy duty spokes, and a reinforced frame. However, this bike also took some getting used to. The original saddle was freaking enormous, and I managed to bend the aluminum seatpost, which couldn't even go high enough. Special ordered a Chromalloy post, which came in a week later, and which bent within 3 miles.

I always knew I was fat, but DAMN, I was too fat for a bike designed for FAT people!

A good friend offered to help fix the seatpost (we were going to straighten it & put a piece of rebar inside it), when he discovered a steel pipe with a super thick sidewall in his scrap pile that fit perfectly! The pipe was quite heavy, but this bike already weighs a ton, so no biggie, right? My new, smaller, comfy seat fits on it, and I was able to adjust the height for the proper 'straight leg' geometry at the bottom of the pedal cycle. I also added better handle grips, and a water bottle holder, and a selection of lights. Wanting to hit some trails in other areas, I got a bike rack for the car. After crossing a few busy intersections, I also got my first ever bike helmet.

The bike, as-is, now has a pretty solid set up. I need to have an easy way of topping up the tires, and I need to raise the handlebars, but these are fine-tuning issues. I've figured out which shorts are best for my bike rides, and I found a bright "safety" orange shirt to help keep me from getting run over. I've tried several pairs of sneakers, and I figured out my fancy new heart rate monitor.

All this shit actually works!

Now I'm looking to ride 200 miles in the next five weeks, and I'm already 20% of the way to my goal! I have three routes I've mapped out, two of which I can access from my neighborhood. Once we hit the beginning of October, I figure the snow will hit, and then I'm hold until next March…but in the meantime, I'm riding my damn bike!

Non-scale victory

I've not been able to wear either of these rings in at LEAST 20 years!

The one with the blue stone is from Annandale High School (June 6, 1985), and the one with the red stone I earned graduating USMC boot camp at Parris Island (Dec 10, 1985).

Neither ever got much wear, as I usually defaulted to the gold signet ring my parents gave me. That ring has been re-sized up & down a few times, and is VERY worn. These rings have hardly a scratch - the edges are even still sharp!

...but what a neat way to see the difference in how my body has adapted to this new lifestyle!

Commit to Celebrate

I was recently quite pleased to complete this 13.2 mile loop on my new bike.  Having lived in this area for nearly 12 years, I'm ashamed to admit I never realized that all these paths in all these parks are interconnected!  I'm now looking forward to riding this loop on a regular basis!

It was no small feat to get here, never mind the year of weight loss & Aqua Fit that made it even a *remote* possibility!  It's taken 5 bike rides of exploration over 50 miles, two flat tires, two different bikes, one swapped saddle, one bent seat-post, and the belated admission that I do (in fact) need a helmet.

This whole line of thinking made me realize I am just two weeks away from my One Year of amazing Health & Fitness transformation!  

What a great time to make a commitment to celebrate my anniversary!  But wait!  Upon further reflection, I'd like to up the ante...

A year ago, the month of September was my first Whole 30. I'd like to honor that with another 'September of Success' - and I'll bump the commitment up a notch by starting NOW - and let's make it seven weeks! 

For the next seven weeks, I commit to the following: 

1. 10,000 steps each weekday

2. Ride my bike 15 miles twice per week

3. I will lift weights twice each week

4. I will hit my Aqua Fit class twice each week

5. I commit to my 'squeaky clean' version of Paleo for the same 7 weeks!  

This kicks off my One Year anniversary celebration of success - and keeping that fight going STRONG through the end of this year! 

(I'd commit to these goals for the rest of the year, except that would virtually guarantee serious snowfall & cold temps!)

Who else has a crazy commitment of success they'd like to kick off in September?  It's the perfect time of year, Back To School, summer is ending, Autumn is right around the corner - the perfect season to embrace changing one's life.

Change one thing at a time

Changing our habits is the hardest thing to do. We are all creatures of habit, and rather than over-thinking every little thing, we prefer our lives to run on the cruise-control of routine. Changing that routine takes willpower, and that is a resource in very limited supply.

Over the last two years, I've done a ton of reading on health & nutrition, but in order for me to make some of my bigger life-changes, I had to learn about habits, happiness, and willpower.

Funny how these things are all interrelated!

So as it turns out, modifying a new behavior into a habit takes at LEAST 21 days, and sometimes up to three months! During that time, we have to burn willpower to keep us on track, and that effort lowers happiness. That makes staying on track harder, and without measurable success, makes it more likely we'll return to our old comfort zone & happiness set-point.

Finding the new set-point has been a challenge, but I am here to attest that it CAN be done!

I have a whole slew of new habits. Some are new items I do, some are old actions I let go.

For instance, I no longer drink soda, I no longer drink coffee, I no longer have Cable TV (no more sitting & watching 4 hours of TV a day!), I no longer eat Fast Food or heavily Processed Food.

I also have things I've added to my routine, like always eating breakfast. I walk 10,000 steps a day, I hit Aqua Fit twice a week, I ride my bike each week, I eat at least 6 salads a week, and I do not allow anything in my house that is not a food that's 'on plan' for me. (Even some on-plan foods are kept out, as I don't trust myself with a week's supply of certain super tasty items. Like grass-fed beef jerky strips, or 85% Dark Chocolate)

Each & every one of these habit-changes has been a struggle, and I've learned to not try to change too much all at once.

It's gone well, but after 18 months of constant change, I can feel a bit cranky. My bandwidth for change tolerance has gotten a bit thin, especially as I've seen my success (weight loss) plateau a bit.

A friend recently asked me if I was going to change things up "now that Paleo isn't working anymore". Well, that question really knocked me back a bit...

My Paleo plan is absolutely still working just fine, thank you! What ISN'T working anymore is me doing the exact same thing as I was doing 6 months & fifty pounds ago.

Success isn't always just measured in weight loss, either. I'm still wonderfully healthy, sleeping well, with GREAT energy throughout my day! Paleo is working, I just need to adjust for a bit more calorie restriction.

So, (sigh), I've been changing things up a bit, *again*!

A week at the beach and some other vacations have thrown more than a few monkey wrenches at me - but my eating stayed solid, and while some Bourbon got past the 'network censors', I also managed to keep up a fair amount of activity.

Now that I'm back in The Land Of The Cubicle Dwellers, I'm instituting a basic change to my scheduled eating.

Putting it plainly, I eat 4 times a day. My 'three squares' of breakfast, lunch, and dinner are damn solid, on-plan, strict Paleo low-carb. However, my "4th Meal" was adding 300 to 600 calories each day, filling a hole each afternoon around 4:30. Since I have lunch at 11:30, and no dinner until 7:30 or 8pm, that was a LONG stretch for this foodaholic to not nibble! I was finding packs of Almonds (500 cal!!!), and I figured out THIS was the reason I don't have a daily 500 calorie deficit.

My plan?

I now get my daily lunch salad an hour later, and I get it with two to-go boxes. I save half for 4pm, and essentially split my lunch in two, completely eliminating 4th meal.

It's tasty, and it's working, but I miss my crunchy Almonds, and that has made me a tad grumpy post-vacation.

I'm sure it's not the lack of Bourbon...

Once this new habit has soaked in a bit, I'll add in lifting weights twice a week, and bump my bike ride to twice a week.

Eventually, I want to eliminate my 4th Meal altogether, but this interim step feels reasonable, and more likely to lead to success than trying to jump the chasm 100% all at once.

Baby steps, one foot in front of the other...

Everything's working, except the bottom line...

I'm eating well, and appropriately. My ratios are "pretty damn good" at 40/40/20 (Protein, Fat, Carb), although I should aim more for 60/20/20. My nutrient levels are good, and I'm taking appropriate supplements & probiotics. (I am my own Play-Doh fun factory!) I'm also hitting my weekly average for daily steps at the 10k mark, I'm hitting Aqua Fit twice a week, and once a week I do a longer "speed walk" & a bike ride. I'm getting good sleep, and keeping my stress down. I'm continuing to learn more & more about all of this health & nutrition, and I continue to try new foods, and new recipes.

...and in the last six weeks I've not lost any damn weight!

Not a single damn pound!

I'm not sure what's going on - but it's seriously tough to maintain motivation while working hard for zero forward movement!

Summer was supposed to be my 'easy season' when it was going to be all but too easy to be outside, active, and healthy. Getting good levels of Vitamin D from seeing the sun, and being able to break a sweat should tell the 'ole body to let go of all that Winter blubber!

So, what gives? I should still be melting away every month, but I've somehow shifted into 'Maintenance Mode'.

So...I want to try a few things:

1. Eliminate the "4th Meal." I'm shifting my lunch an hour later, and trying to make it until dinner @ 7:30 with no snack or nibble-stuff that ends up being essentially another meal.

2. Part & parcel with #1, I need to keep the daily intake below 2500 calories. I'm currently between 2500 & 3500 per day, and if I can just tweak that down a bit, that'll be great.

3. Lift heavy things. Weights are my friends, I want to keep the muscle I built carrying my fat ass around, AND we all know muscles burn calories 24 x 7!!! I need a new habit on this one...I've had limited success lifting at the office gym during lunch, and I'm considering a Trainer, but that's damn expensive. I also need to focus on daily body weight exercises, which was becoming a habit until I got sidetracked in March.

4. Incremental improvements in my sleep. I sleep SO much better than I used to, but I could still improve significantly if I could learn to utilize the C-Pap machine & get blackout curtains. Sleep is "recovery", and the more I learn, the more I realize this is perhaps more important than anything short of nutrition!

5. The periodic enjoyment of 'Special Occasion' treats needs to become much more rare. Bourbon, Chocolate, and white potato products (hash browns, french fries, & tater tots) are creeping back into rotation much more regularly than 'special treat' would imply. I'm better than this, and I'm disappointed in myself.

6. My walking & bike riding needs to bump up. I can do more than ever, so I need to actually DO MORE now that I can.

These six things are each 'no biggie', but they each have huge impact. Maybe six is too much to tackle at once, but the first three are critical.

I hereby resolve to hit those three HARD in August!

What are YOUR goals for August???

Day 300

Last week I hit day 300 without noticing!

The one metric I cannot track...

Motivation - where does it come from, how do we renew it, and why is it so hard to quantify?
A friend recently asked me how I stay motivated, and that seemingly simple question churned deep inside my little brain.
For me - it's about the scene in the old John Cusack movie 'Better Off Dead' where the French Chick ignites Lane Meyer's motivation with the line, "I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you."
This certainly was true for me.
I'd worked SO hard for SO long with SO little success, I had quite literally given up. I was beaten, and I'd resigned myself to a fate of not outliving my Father. The problem was that I'd never had one single ounce of real success, I'd never felt in control. Sure, I'd lost some weight on Atkins, but that was like holding water in your bare hands ... and while that taught me a few lessons, it also showed me how little I could do to affect my destiny. It beat me into submission.
I really can't overstate the depth of my frustration.
A year ago, at my Grandfather's memorial service, I hit my low point - after a year of working downtown, walking a ton, eating salads at lunch everyday, and even doing two juice cleanses, I was right back up at my max weight.
Nothing had worked, and fighting it so hard for so long felt like a colossal waste of time & anguish.
I'd learned a ton in that year though, and after reading a couple of books that REALLY opened my eyes (Salt, Sugar, Fat and Fat Chance), and watching videos like Jamie Oliver's TED talk on sugar & "Hungry For Change", I felt like I'd been duped in a scheme, but I was left powerless to fight the processed food addiction I'd been saddled with.

Then I read about an odd type of 'eating cleanse' that could potentially reset the body's nutritional cravings back to what nature had intended. "Just give it 30 days", they said. "You can do anything for just 30 days".
Well, ok - that sure sounded reasonable. How hard could a month be? I'd gutted through TWELVE months of Atkins, and I figured if I could do THAT, I could do a month of this. After all, the siren's song of breaking free from my processed food & sugar addiction was something I'd wanted too long to NOT try for!
So I tried it. ...and just like John Cusack's little French Chick had suggested, a taste of success was all I needed...
I was off like a rocket, and my continued success was the best motivation EVER. Very quickly I found myself in a brave new landscape, and suddenly I had nothing but good possibilities. When everything is going well, motivation is all around you, and the words you've heard for YEARS from all your family & friends suddenly make sense.
It was amazing, and absolutely transformative for me.
...right up to the point where it felt like everything came to a screeching halt. When my A-Fib hit, my weight loss immediately stalled. Flat line. No progress. I was panicked, and fearing heartbreak, as I'd been doing mental math on how quickly the rest would melt, and I was picturing my wonderful new life just in time for it all to evaporate...
"Easy there, Cowboy", I had to think to myself, and once again, I found that the best way to stoke my motivation was to find an easy little bit of success to build on. I changed up my food again, I tweaked my exercise, I looked at new ways of tracking stuff, and I came to a stunningly obvious conclusion:
"You are not a unique snowflake". (Many Fight Club quotes have come to mind during my weight loss fight!) Of course I had to change what I was doing, I was no longer the same metabolically deranged bag of crap I was 100lbs ago! Tweaking my system showed me new successes, and kept the motivation going. I got past the A-Fib five weeks ago, and I've kept things rolling.
However, with all that being said, right now I'm in a place where I'm re-assessing my success. I've been frustrated that post A-Fib I've not been able to get back on-track with my old average of 10lbs lost each month. DAMN, but at that level it was EASY to stay motivated! For the month of June it looks like I'll clock just 6lbs lost, and my motivation was waning, until I really thought about it & decided, DAMN!
6lbs lost in one month ROCKS!
A year ago I would have KILLED for that sort of success!
So, in the end, I suppose sometimes I have to re-assess what success 'means'.
Two years ago success was walking well after knee surgery.
A year ago, success was getting up & trying, just one more time.
Today, success & motivation come from realizing how far I've come, and realizing that as I continue, the successes will be TOUGHER, because I've climbed higher, and I DESERVE things being tougher because I've earned the right to work at that level.
So yes, a small taste of success has shown me, indeed, I have a taste for it...

'Nice' people, who really frustrate me

Today one team in our cube farm brought in baked goods & sweets.

They do this sometimes for a birthday, a promotion, or perhaps a project's completion - the individual 'victory' is inconsequential, it's the 'celebration' that follows a standard path: Fresh donuts, homemade cookies, and a sprinkling of store bought sweets are the usual players, with a token fruit platter (covered in chocolate and/or powdered sugar) that inevitably gets tossed. An email will get sent out early in the morning, but around 9 or 10am a do-gooder on the team will wander the floor, encouraging everyone to eat processed flour & sugar. Have you ever noticed how the people pushing the baked treats are never the thin & fit people in the office? Not exactly the crowd from whom I buy the whole "just one won't hurt" justification. I think somehow they feel better about their own life choices when they get other people to cave in - it validates their own choices, and while they have nothing but good intentions, I find it maddening.

Where I'm disappointed in myself is that I caved. I usually avoid these treat-pushing people & their crack like the plague, and I (almost) always try to pro-actively eat my healthy choices well beforehand - not being hungry makes it easier to stay on-plan. However, today I'd not had breakfast, I was hungry, and I caved.

Twice!

The chocolate chip cookies with M&M's caught my eye - the bright rainbow of colors didn't indicate any true sort of healthy triggers, as nature intended for Blueberries, Bananas, or Tomatoes ... no ... it was a trigger for refined white sugar & refined white flour.

I felt guilty, even as my mouth rejoiced & my brain lit up with happiness. I instantly had a nearly overwhelming desire for M O R E !

I was pissed at myself for caving, so I offset that anger onto the people who kindly bake & stop for donuts. That's not fair - it was my own choice to put two cookies in my own pie-hole.

Since I was now craving 'mass quantities', I went for a walk around the building, and I stopped in at the office cafeteria. I had one plain hamburger patty, just to give my body a protein hit, and to get my tummy feeling satiated & chewing on something 'real'. 90 minutes later I had a late lunch - a nice salad, with half my usual serving of grilled chicken. I then did a second & third lap of the building, and I blocked time on my calendar to ensure I can hit Aqua Fit tonight.

I'm mad at myself for caving, but I'm also somewhat pleased to see that my usual plans work well for very valid reasons. It's also very powerful for me to be able to walk away & redirect my off-plan adventure back into known territory.

I guess not all losses are negative...???


-Lee
-----------------
R. Lee Putman, Jr.

Email:
leeputmanjr@mac.com

Phone / Text: 847.687.7291

It's all about the numbers...

It's interesting to plug in your daily diet to FitDay & see the nutritional breakdown. It's interesting to track weight numbers & body measurements over time, and periodically, it can give validation at the annual physical exam.

Blood pressure of 125 / 80 ain't too bad for someone still 150lbs overweight. Fasting Glucose of 92 feels "ok", though with my Low Carb version of Paleo, I'm surprised it's that high. Total Cholesterol is 177, Triglycerides are 86, and HDL is 49.

Not too shabby, but not earth shaking, either. I figure that my HDL will come up as I continue lifting heavy things - but I have no idea how quickly that will bounce.

Looking at the breakdowns on my nutritional intake - I'm meeting 100% of everything, except Vitamin D (which I supplement), Calcium, Fiber, and Carbs.

Carbs being low is totally fine with me, but that helps explain the low fiber. Fine - I'll pump up the leafy green stuff, and just stay on the low glycemic end of the veggie scale. Done!

Calcium is a tough one - but a lot of my reading & research has told me that the real issue is Magnesium - tougher to get through the modern diet, and our bodies substitute Calcium. So, I supplement w/ Magnesium, and according to recent blood work, my Calcium number is fine.

So - the issue?

I'm suddenly not losing 10+ pounds per month like I was, and looking at my (relatively) high fasting glucose number, I think the root cause is in the pictured pie chart.

My intake percentages are all off. Like the title of the book says - "It Starts With Food".

My protein intake is good, but I've been focused on trying to get 'enough' good fats. That can certainly stop - I'm taking in plenty of protein to 'carry along' more than enough Fat! If I focus on high quality food sources (grass fed, pastured, wild caught), then the carried along Fat will be high quality, and I can relax about eating a spoonful of Coconut oil each morning, and finding an avocado to eat everyday.

Relax on the fat....

...focus on bumping up the veggies!

Could it possibly be that simple???

First week of June

For June, I'm "drilling down". I'm back to basics on the diet, and 'pumping up' the exercise, quite literally!

On the intake side of the equation, I'm trying to keep it simple. I'm still going 'clean Paleo', by continuing to eliminate all grains, dairy, legumes, processed food, and added sugar. This part has become almost 'habit', so I've been pushing it towards low carb - more broccoli, less sweet potato. I'm not being super anal about the squeaky cleanliness of all my meat products - sure, I'd love all my beef to be organic, grass-fed; and my chicken & pork to be organic and pastured - but I'm making the best choices available without going to extreme measures. I'm also trying to eliminate the mid-afternoon snack, or '4th Meal', so that I can get good & hungry between meals, which will improve my insulin sensitivity & leptin signaling, not to mention my own comfort level, as I'm still programmed by years of blood sugar crashing leading to my becoming 'hangry'.

It's a brave new world!

On the output side of the equation, I'm absolutely continuing with Aqua Fit! Sure, it's a bunch of old ladies, and I'd like to graduate to something 'more', but not until I lose a good bit more weight. I enjoy being in the water, and this works well enough to not need 'fixing'. I love the Monday night class, it's much more intense than Wednesday & Saturday. I'm committed to Mondays, although I have to leave work early. I'm also committed to hitting it twice a week, so if I make it Mon & Wed, I can reward myself with sleeping in on Saturday. Motivation!!! Nice to have Saturday's in reserve, though.

Additionally, I'm now lifting weights twice a week, during lunch. This keeps my schedule open, but will hopefully not only improve my core strength, but also 'pump up' my good cholesterol.

...and that's not all! Of course I'm continuing with my 10,000 steps per day, pushing it up to 12-ish, so that I average 10k, even with a recovery day. Also continuing with 'Bodypump' exercise - I have a half dozen old school moves I do each school night.

...and the hits don't stop there! I am now also doing one bike ride, and one long 'hike' each week! I rode my bike 5 miles yesterday, and discovered muscles that clearly aren't getting used elsewhere! I have a 3 mile 'quick-walk' that I'm currently hitting a 17 minute pace - looking to trim that down as the summer progresses!

...and how does all of this add up? I'm nicely sore this week, but certainly not 'wrecked',

Goals for June

Looking at the picture, the top portion in orange clearly shows my inconsistency with walking my 10,000 steps per day. The lower portion in black is harder to decipher, but each color represents a different sort of activity, and larger dots indicate a larger amount of activity. This section is broken down by week, and also indicates spotty activity.

Not shown - weight loss, or consistency with dietary intake. I've been pretty damn consistent here, but not losing much.

Sooooo ... I'm setting ten simple goals for June!

1. 10,000 steps each weekday.
2. Two Aqua Fit visits per week.
3. Two weight lifting sessions per week.
4. Bodyweight exercises each weekday.
5. One 'extra' physical activity each weekend - bikeride, long hike, or some other long steady output.
6. Stay The Course on the usual food, but NO starchy veggies. No white or sweet potatoes, no bananas, no nuts.
7. No high fructose fruit. No apples, oranges, or pears. (Berries & melons are ok.)
8. No chili - no damn beans!!!
9. Sleep in pitch black, for 9 hours per night.
10. One day each week with no serious physical exertion.

Sounds easy, no? ;-)

Eight months

Eight months ago, on September 2nd, I changed my life. I'd been frustrated at my lack of progress with losing weight, after more than a year of making some HUGE changes. I'd quit diet soda, and later, all artificial sweeteners. Every workday I had a salad for lunch. I began eating sensible breakfasts, which helped me stay ahead of getting 'hunger-crazy'. I was juicing, eating some organic veggies, and I was reading & learning a ton of great stuff. But after hitting my high weight in April of 2013, it was a struggle to lose & maintain just about a 20lbs loss.

I was desperate.

I knew I was on the right track, and I felt like sooner or later I'd make one more small tweak, and BOOM, it'd just click! After all, the media is full of stories where someone just changes one little thing and six months later they've dropped 200lbs, and they run marathons.

Why was this so hard for ME???

Everyone just said I should eat a bit less & move a bit more - no biggie, that's how THEY did it! But when I'd try to cut back, the hunger and the cravings would haunt me all hours of the day & night. Similar to living with chronic pain, the cravings were ALWAYS there, and I just was not strong enough. I could stand up to the cravings for a time - days, weeks, even months - but eventually they'd win.

I had to find a way out...

I'd tried two different juice fasts, Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, Atkins, South Beach, and Seattle Sutton. I'd read all the great books - Eat Right For Your Type, Body For Life, Sugarbusters, The Zone, and not ONE of them got the 'cravings monkey' off my back.

Until I tried The Whole 30.

My Sister had done it in January of 2014, and I was curious enough to check it out. They sounded legit, but they ALL do, when you're reading the book flap! However, the Whole 30 said to "just do it for 30 days, after all, you can do anything for just a month, right"???

Holy Crap

It worked!

It was tough!

...and within a few weeks, my cravings were totally under control

...and for the first time in more than two decades, I began to feel like I was in control of my own destiny.

Eight months later, I'm down 80lbs, and I hit my two year anniversary of my high point - 100lbs ago!

My new way of eating is now 'habit', and while I may crave the bad stuff, I'm now the one in control.

In the picture, you'll see me wearing a white dress shirt my Dad bought me in '98 (long story). It's falling to pieces, but it's now a touch lose in the neck, and I seriously LOVE the connection!

The yellow rain slicker is a 2XL from The Gap (not known for their Big & Tall selection), which I bought when I moved to San Francisco in '96. Back then it was snug, but now it's also a touch lose!

Have I dialed the clock back to the mid 90's? I don't know about that...back in '08 / '09 I had some success with Atkins. I lost about 80lbs in one year, and at my anniversary date I decided to take a month off - and I lost my shit, and went totally off the rails...

However, I still have the old leather belt I wore back then. As I list weight I kept punching new holes (as I've done this time, with newer belts). My current weight loss is still about 4 inches shy of last time's waist measurement, even though I now weigh less.

What does that mean? I'm not sure, but it feels like THIS time it's 'real', this time it's healthy & sustainable, And dang if it all doesn't add up to feel like a helluva victory!

The Century Mark

Sunday, 4/25/2015, I hit my 100lbs lost. To the day, it was almost exactly two years since my high point of 440lbs, when I went in for knee surgery.

When I started my Whole 30 on September 2nd, I don't know what I weighed. A month later I'd lost enough that my home scale could begin reading me. Based on my rate of weight loss, I estimate I was 420lbs on Sept 2nd. That's 80lbs lost, in not quite 8 months!

That ain't too shabby...

In the beginning I was losing more each month, and it's gradually winding down. I figure that's ok, very likely my body naturally resetting it's self. It'll be interesting to watch how this progresses as Spring turns into Summer & I can be a bit more active.

I also did another large batch of clothes donation! My closets & chest of drawers feel empty, which makes me nervous & excited.

My security blanket of 'just in case' larger sized clothes is totally gone, but that's ok. I'm moving forward, and not looking back!

Damn The Torpedoes

The first bump is the Disney Trip, which was just about one week post A-Fib relapse. The second bump is past week, where my A-Fib got reset.

A-Fib isn't an excuse, or a free pass. It's a serious heart condition with side effects ranging from shortness of breath & exhaustion to blood clots & stroke.

I've experienced everything short of blood clots. It's felt at times like I have an angry fish flopping around inside my chest, and there is NO doubt that exhaustion has played a big part in my recent fitness inconsistency.

...but I kept plugging at it, as best I could...

I stayed on-track with my eating, which continues to be an excellent habit. I have returned to Aqua Fit, but I'm not yet back at the level of multiple visits per week.

This week I intend to pick up with my bodyweight exercises, and begin some light bicycling. I intend to start lightly & work up slowly, both to minimize exhaustion and adding any stress to my system.

Stress is the big issue. First, I believe it was a combination of stress & anger that helped push me back into A-Fib.

Secondly, I 'think' that the week at Disney resulted in a weight bump due to a stress response. My body was already stressed w/ A-Fib, and then adding a ton of exertion probably bumped up my Cortisol level, which is well known to affect blood sugar (which has historically been the root of my weight issue). After all, the proof in the pudding is that the week following Disney I did nearly zero activity & my weight began self-correcting!

THAT may actually be the golden nugget of good news inside this messy 30 day roller-coaster. Being able to self-correct during a recovery period is fantastic news, and that's hopefully where I am now - on the downslope of bump #2, and hopefully back on track with my rock-steady decline in weight.

So, I've got that going for me...

The bummer is that I did not meet my weight loss goal for April Fool's Day. I still lost weight over the last 30 days (HUGE WIN!), but it looks like I'll hit my 100lb halfway mark sometime in the next week or so.

...and that ain't too shabby...


-Lee
-----------------
R. Lee Putman, Jr.

Email:
leeputmanjr@mac.com

Phone / Text: 847.687.7291

A nice win

Today I took the Spider for a it's first serious spring drive. I put 100 miles on, and it was GREAT for the soul to get some wind in my hair & the smell of Italian exhaust in my clothes!

...but even better? After a long winter in storage, the old car suddenly 'fits' differently! I had to move the seat up several notches, and STILL had to cinch up the seat belt!

I've NEVER fit this well in this car!

Sticking with the basics

My daily walking has been inconsistent, but now that my heart has been rebooted, that will hopefully get back on track quite quickly. Today I went back to Aqua Fit, and I just went half-speed, I don't want to push my heart too-far / too-quickly.

In the meantime, I'm keeping the 'intake' side of the equation on the straight & narrow! I love my egg frittata breakfast muffins, and I genuinely look forward to my daily salad.

I love eating this way, and there just ain't nuthin' gonna sway me from THAT!!!

Turn it off, then back on...

Just like a computer, once in a while my heart needs a reboot. Kind of eye opening to see the before & after shots of my heart rhythm...

Traction Control

It's been tough trying to maintain consistency since my A-Fib kicked in.

Shortness of breath, exhaustion, and heart palpitations (that feel like a fish flopping around in my chest) all conspiring to keep me less active.

You can see the inconsistency in my daily step count, and in my weight graph.

I continue to push, but my heart needs to cooperate...

A slight bump in the road...

One thing I forgot to mention in my last post - you can see the split picture showing a salad & a declining slope of activity - that was my post-Disney recovery period, and it was GREAT to get back to my daily lunch salads!

Today we're looking at the two yellow graphs. One shows more than six months of rock-steady weight loss. It's an amazingly consistent angle downwards.

The other graph shows the last 30 days, and while it's still generally trending downwards VERY nicely, it shows more variations. The most frustrating one is the 'Disney Bump' at the bottom right. It looked for a few days as if I'd GAINED weight at Disney, regardless of staying on-plan & walking a million miles! Today I'm back down where I expected to be, but it shows the frustration of weighing-in too often.

I need to just relax, and be better about trusting what I'm doing, as long as I follow my plan, my body will continue to catch up.

Onwards...!

The Disney Challenge

My first 120 had two major hurdles (Thanksgiving & Christmas) that showed me I can succeed on this plan through ANY challenge!

I knew my second 120 would also have a very serious challenge, but one of a very different sort:

Disney World.

...during Spring Break, no less! I knew I had to plan ahead, and my success would depend on that.

What I didn't plan on (stupidly?) was the sheer volume of physical activity. The first day, in the Magic Kingdom, I walked 19,000 steps. Other than lunch, I was on my feet ALL day! I swear, standing is tougher for me than walking, and the LINES... oh, my. Then there was nearly two hours playing in the pool afterwards! Guess how well I slept that night...!

Day Two @ Epcot - 16,400
Day Three @ Hollywood - 11,000
Day Four @ Animal Kingdom - 11,600

Each day at a park was followed by at least an hour in the pool! It felt GREAT, and was the perfect way to relax & recover, but MAN, that was one exhausting week!

Big Wins: you'll notice the picture showing my bottle of water, the edge of the airline tray table, and my airplane seatbelt. This picture was a HUGE win for me, in two ways. First, I did NOT have to ask for a seatbelt extender for the first time in at LEAST a decade! Secondly - I was not only able to use my tray table - I had space between it & me!!!

The second really big win was me staying fully 'on plan' the whole week. I took Whole 30 approved snack bars, so I'd have 'emergency rations' in the parks, and almost every breakfast & dinner was cooked in the condo unit. The few meals eaten in the parks really minimized my exposure to off-plan eating, and by utilizing salads, burgers w/out buns, or omelettes, I stayed on the straight & narrow without going crazy, and without impacting those around me...

It was a great time, and once again I proved to myself that I can be successful through a 'health-adverse' situation!

...and no more airline seatbelt extenders!!!! :)

Not backing down

In the picture above, let's look at a few things:

Top left is a split frame of me NOW, and in April of 2012. Can you see a difference?

I'm still quite the 'Fat Bastard', but that picture shows a solid 90lb weight loss.

The picture below has two heart rhythms. Notice how the lower one is much more regular, symmetrical, the top one more erratic? Those were taken 24 hours apart, and show the difference that is A-Fib. A-Fib really sucks, but I guess that within the scope of heart issues - this is the end of the spectrum where you want to be! Look back up at my Fat Ass in 2012, and tell me I'm not damn lucky to have MUCH worse heart issues!!!

So, looking at those two pictures on the left - they represent what I'm thinking today - I've come WAY too damn far in my health & fitness journey to let this damn A-Fib derail me.

The pictures on the right show just some of what I'm committed to - eating right, and hitting my 10,000 steps a day. I will also continue with my Aqua Fit, my bodyweight exercises, and riding my bike.

Today was 'Weigh-in Tuesday', and I'm 10.1lbs less than I was exactly a month ago. I'm just 11lbs from an exact 100lb weight loss, which will be my halfway point on this health & fitness odyssey.

I've had too much success, and learned WAY too much to allow myself to spin-out and self-destruct.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

I'm continuing onwards, and while I may be slow, I am undeterred.

Good News / Bad News

Well, they say you can't have the sweet without the sour. This was proven to me Friday morning when my heart went back into A-Fib.

I always knew I'd not have a totally smooth road all the way through my whole health & fitness recovery. I'd thought about what those potholes could be & how I'd not let them derail my progress, but I wasn't expecting THIS!!!

Stupid A-Fib.

It's not life threatening, and it's very manageable.

Yay...great...

:(

Two years ago I had knee surgery & A-Fib - and after spending 4 days in the cardiac wing, these were the root-cause of my motivation that has gotten me HERE, today, as I was not prepared at this (relatively) young stage of life to face being on prescriptions for the rest of my life.

(Yes, these help my heart, but they all have side effects & unknown downstream issues when one looks at 20 or 30 years on these drugs)

Never mind how they make me FEEL.

Ugh.

Thursday night I was feeling better than I'd felt in 20 years. Seriously. I felt physically strong, mentally clear, vibrant, and downright sprightly. I really cannot overstate how freakin GREAT I'd been feeling these last few weeks!

Aqua Fit was going very well, my 10,000 steps a day was rockin', and I'd added a daily routine of 6 bodyweight exercises that felt GREAT and were showing tremendous progress.

The weight was melting away...

What I forgot was that a key contributor to A-Fib is STRESS. I'd been majorly stressed for WEEKS about the mess at work, getting my vacation covered, and finding out I'd have to work nightly while on vacation. My upwards reporting chain seemed to not give a damn, and I had to figure it all out myself, and in the end I was able to mitigate the risk to Baxter, but I'd have to work nightly on vacation. I was PISSED, but I need to be the 'go-to-guy' so that this damn job will pick me up full time.

Big 'ole pile of Stress!

Then Thursday I got even more pissed when I (felt) I got ripped off at the car stereo shop. Maybe it was a musunderstanding and I should have asked more questions, but I was PISSED.

Angry. Stompy-stompy.

...and then via text conversation later Thursday night, with follow-up on Friday morning - I was insulted beyond belief by someone who should be my biggest advocate. "Insulted" isn't even remotely strong enough - I felt I'd taken a spear to the chest.

Which, literally, I did. While sitting there Friday morning & getting text confirmation that they weren't trying to be funny, they were 'totally serious', I felt my chest tighten & my heart began to run away...

...right into A-Fib...

I felt like freaking out & crying all at the same time. Within a few hours I'd spoken to my Cardiologist & was back on my awful old meds.

I'm constantly out of breath & sweating. Bounding up the stairs in my sprightly manner will now take me down at the knees when my breath can't catch up.

I'm so very, very upset...

I was doing SO well, and feeling SO great!

At this point I'm now wearing 2xl clothes, and no longer tied to the awful Big & Tall stores. (I'd hit 5x in 2013)

In the included pictures you can see me wearing a green coat this morning. I stole this from my Father in '96, and it's not fit this well since then.

I have a beautiful new bike I want to ride this Spring, but yesterday when I rode it the first time, it felt like I just couldn't get my lungs to keep up, but I know it's the damn A-Fib.

I'm just 11lbs away from my 'century' loss, and halfway point. I should be celebrating, but I'm terrified, pissed, angry, and upset.

...but I'm determined to keep eating correctly & walking my 10,000 steps each day. I just might be slower & more out of breath, but dammit, I'm not giving up...

Ten Essentials

A challenge was recently issued to me.

Based on a series of articles posted on GQ.com called "The Ten Essentials", I was asked what my list would be.

I delved into the GQ articles & I thought long and hard about so many things that have special places in my heart.

I thought about what I'd call "essential" to me, and eveything that implies. Family heirlooms, bits of personal history, coveted gifts, hard lessons learned....I quickly realized that I had at LEAST ten items, in at LEAST ten categories!

The question quickly became - how could I possibly ever distill that down to just ten individual items?

Not exactly what was originally intended, I came up with a 'Ten of Ten' photo essay, based on my initial thoughts:

Day #180

So...exactly 180 days ago, I changed my life...

I know that sounds awfully pompous & self congratulatory; but, to me, it's astounding, incredible, and hard to believe.

I never thought it'd happen, quite honestly. I had beaten myself up for so many years, and been told by SO many people how I was just lacking discipline, & willpower, and that I was just being lazy.

It was awful.

The cravings were just so damn powerful, and every-time I tried to excessive my willpower I was up against astounding sugar crashes, feeling awful, lethargic, 'hangry', and often downright sick.

Nobody, including this Former Marine, can stand alone for very long against something SO big & powerful.

Finding a way out has been transformational. Being free of cravings, sugar-crashes, and the 'hangries' has been simply amazing.

I have a long road ahead of me. I'm roughly 40% towards my goal, and I know I'll be hitting plateaus & slow-downs in my weight loss. While I have lost an astounding amount of weight (84lbs total, 48lbs since Oct 2nd), I still have 116lbs to lose until I hit my goal weight. I'm still a VERY fat guy, but I now have a weight loss tool I've never ever had before...

Hope!

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the Whole 30 Team, and my Sister for finding the W30 & coaching me through my first 30 days back in September.

The Numbers

This week my office held it's annual Health Fair. This gave me a nice snapshot of how my new Health & Fitness program is REALLY working.

The long & short of it - fantastic!

My good cholesterol needs to come up (gotta go out & start to occasionally lift heavy things), but everything else is either "good", or dramatically improved & on the verge of being in the good zone.

I feel fantastic, and it's because I continue to eat damn well, sleep fantastically, and walk a ton each day.

I mean - look at that clean rhythm on my heart rate!  Crisp!  Clean!  Not a damn HINT of A-Fib!!!

+Total Cholesterol – 156               (<200)

-HDL (Good) Cholesterol – 30     (>60)

-Total / HDL – 5.1                              (<4.0)

-LDL Cholesterol – 110                   (<100)

+Triglycerides – 81                           (<150)

+Fasting Glucose – 80                    (<100)

+/-Blood Pressure – 125 / 75       (<120 / 80)

BMI – 48.15                                        (Previous was 54)

Truth in pictures...

Here is a side-by-side comparison of my two 'diet belts'.

On top is my 'Atkins' belt from 2009. Current belt is below.

My current weight loss begins at zero inches, and I'm currently at 10, on both belts.

I have made astounding progress, no doubt. My current weight loss is 80lbs, with the vast majority of that happening since September.

However, as a reality check, when I lost weight in 2009, my low point is at 18! Interestingly, my weight & waist size don't seem to be correlating, as I'm currently only 15lbs away from my previous low point. A good rule of thumb is generally about 10lbs per inch on the belt, but that'd mean I was still 70 or 80lbs away from my previous low point!

Either way, I know that THIS time I'm doing things the 'right way'. I feel great, and I'm tickled pink with my progress.

...but I can't get cocky or lazy, I've still got a VERY long way to go...

The Put-Man's Breakfast Salad

Step One: cover large plate with a thick layer of shredded lettuce. I used an entire head of red leaf.

Step Two: cook bacon, place on lettuce (top left of picture)

Step Three: cook eggs in bacon grease, place on top of bacon (top right)

Step Four: liberally apply hot sauce & spicy salsa, to taste (bottom left)

Step Five: cut up everything into bite sized chunks, allowing egg yolks, hot sauce, and salsa to intermingle. Toss salad until evenly mixed (bottom right).

Step Six: eat salad, lick plate, drink coffee (not pictured).

Nothing succeeds like success

Amazing.

That's how I feel, that's how I'm doing, and for the first time in YEARS, that's become what I now EXPECT of myself.

In this week's picture, look at the yellow graph. That's my weight loss since Sept! It's dropping at an astounding rate, and even more shocking is the consistency!

My daily walks continue to ROCK, and for the 30 days of Feb 15 to Mar 15 I plan to average each week above 9k (gotta plan for a recovery day), with three hours each week of intense exercise above & beyond that base-level.

I am now just 19lbs from my 'Century' goal of 100lbs lost, and I'm still aiming for April Fool's Day.

In the meantime, I'm doing fun stuff like washing all my nice sweaters in super hot water, trying to shrink them to fit my not-as-fat-as-it-used-to-be ass.

Everyone needs a good mid-winter project, right?

Health & Fitness Update

So...things are going well! New habits are ... habitual, and going smoothly. I no longer have to *think* every time I grocery shop / cook / order lunch at a restaurant.

That's nice.

The weight continues to melt off. Some weeks it's just pound or so, some weeks it's nearly five. But EVERY week it's down, and every week I have clothes that fit differently.

That's nice.

I'm doing well with the exercise. I continue to hit Aqua Fit a couple of times each week, but more importantly, I've stumbled onto a new routine that gets me walking a consistent 10,000 steps at least five days a week.

That's nice.

I feel great. I sleep wonderfully. I feel strong. For the first time in my adult life, I feel "in control" of my health & fitness. For the first time EVER, I feel like I could outlive my Father (He passed away at 54, which is just 6 short years away for me).

So, that's nice, too.

However (you knew that was coming, right?), I'm finding myself pleased, but impatient. I feel like I've figured this thing out, I'm just waiting for my body to catch up, and I'm just "ready" to be at the finish line. It's not that this new way of life feels like hard work anymore, and it's not that I want to go back to my old habits. I'm just ready ... for the payoff. I'm ready for the finish line, and dammit, I'm only about 40% done.

Sigh.

So, I'll continue. I'll continue to eat well, continue to walk tons, and continue to add more exercise & continue to find better food options.

In other words, it's nice, and I'll continue. A shot of motivation would be nice, but I'm pushing for my Century Mark on April 1st, and that's a really great thing, right?

We manage what we measure

Today I weighed in at 364lbs. October 2nd I was 404lbs - that's 40lbs lost in 4 months!

I'm still eating great, and I'm LOVING it!

I've been trying to tweak things a bit lower carb, less fruits & starchy veggies.

I've also been really trying to pump up my walking, and between Apple's new Health App & a set of Yak Tracks, I'm averaging just over 9,000 steps per day on a weekly basis. I go for at least 10k+ each weekday, and I let the weekends slide (although I still try to hit Aqua Fit on Saturdays).

I'm well on-track to hit 340 by April 1st, and I'm oddly excited by this random goal. It'll be fun to see how that goal goes, and what it leads me to try next...

The Second Week Three

This is the mental space where I am these days...

The intersection of good new habits, letting the past go, and realizing how far I have yet to travel.

I weighed in this morning at 368.2lbs, for a total weight loss of 72lbs. That's astounding...but it's only 36% of where I need to be. I feel SO good, and I'm incredibly proud of my progress, but it gets tough to keep slogging it out, day after day, week after week, month after month.

It'll come, I know, I'm just impatient now that I've figured out this new lifestyle.

However, I'm just 28lbs from my 'century' mark, where I'll celebrate hitting 50% of my weight loss target!

At that point I should be shopping at 'regular' stores (Not Big & Tall), I should no longer need a seatbelt extender for airplane seats, and I will be the lightest I've been in this Millenium...

That will be amazing. Who wants to take the over/under on whether or not I'll hit that goal on April Fool's Day?

That's 9 weeks and two days...which would require 3.1lbs lost per week.

Who's in?

Donating all my old clothes

I've had to shop exclusively at Big & Tall stores for more than 15 years. The selection is poor, the quality terrible, and the prices are punitive.

After years of trial & error, I have found some great sources for certain items, but quality comes at a price. My monogrammed Land's End oxford cloth button down shirts were NOT cheap, but I got them in 2005, and they're still in great shape!

It took me SO long to find, afford, and collect a decent wardrobe...it makes me anxious & sick to load it all into cheap black plastic garbage bags & give it away.

It's just that none of this fits anymore. It's crowding my closet & chest of drawers, making it tough to organize & find the few things that still fit.

I need to clear out the past, physically & mentally.

Mentally, this is really hard for me. For SO long, I just couldn't afford any of this. My Mom bought a lot of it for me. The suit I wore to my Dad's funeral. The Fiat t-shirts came from seven years of epic road trips.

This is surprisingly hard for me...and I know I should be happy that my weight loss requires new clothes...but it brings up old feelings & memories, and the fear that someday I might need all of this and I'll regret the day I donated it all.

So, a deep breath, and a last goodbye. Giving it away to those who need it more than me is a commitment to myself, my health, and I should celebrate my success, right?

I just wish it didn't make me so sad...

11 pairs of dress pants
19 pairs of khakis
9 pairs of jeans
24 long sleeve dress shirts
13 short sleeve dress shirts
21 polo shirts
28 t-shirts
4 pairs of shorts
1 suit

120 miles in 120 days

I heard about a popular New Year's Resolution going around on Facebook called "100 miles in 100 days", and it intrigued me.

Then I thought, since I'm doing a Whole 120, why not 'level up' and also make my 120 day challenge about not only eating clean for 120 days, but doing 120 miles???

...and then I made a spreadsheet...

I mapped out my 120 days, correlating to days of the month, with weekends & special days greyed out. I created columns for other types of activity & weighted them for my difficulty.

I filled it in to get it current - and darned if I'm not doing pretty well! Day 15 and I'm at 13.5 miles!

My goal is to catch up by week's end, and not let up...