...kind of...
...and, I'm sick of it! I'm TIRED if being "good", and "doing the right thing."
Jesus, that's exhausting...
I want the occasional slice of pizza, glass of Bourbon, or (God forbid!), popcorn!!!
My willpower is worn down. A year ago when I was losing 10lbs a month, it was EASY to keep up the motivation. These days? When it takes twelve weeks to lose five pounds, the motivation is MUCH harder to summon.
...and I want popcorn.
...and when I read about the powerful benefits of 85% dark chocolate, I want that, too.
...and after doing 200 miles on my bike in September, I barely did 25 in October.
...and after fourteen MONTHS of doing Aqua Fit two to three times a week like clockwork, in October I only went three or four times.
Period.
...and you know what? I did not gain a single damn pound!
GREAT!
...except...
Now it suddenly feels ok to skip working out while cruising grocery stores for premium chocolate & organic non-gmo popcorn.
This, my friends, is the entry way to Crazy Town, and the path of The Devil...
I cannot give up, and I cannot allow myself to cave-in.
I'm only halfway done, and going forward this shit is going to be harder than it's ever been, by a WIDE margin - it'll be a damn tough fight, every step of the way...
So, what do I do?
We just passed Halloween, and while thinking I was totally cool these days to have just one baby Snickers, I lost my shit & ate about six of those damn things. In one month, I ate my way through two large jars of popcorn. I've had more 'healthy' premium 85% chocolate bars than I can count.
...and when my weight stays the same, my food-addicted brain tells me it's ok. I get the warm comforting hug of happy brain chemicals. (Wheee!) All while wondering why I suddenly have skin break-outs, poor energy, and a lethargic attitude.
We are now in 'The Red Zone' for the Holidays - the absolute toughest time of the year for us food addicts. And we are overdue for our first snow flurries, when our bicycles typically get put away.
So, being the crazy-person I tend to be...
I hereby commit to re-commit! I am setting three goals:
1. Eat totally clean Nov 3rd through Dec 29
2. Hit the usual exercise (walk 10k daily, 2x Aqua Fit & 2x weights / week)
3. 200 miles on the bike by New Year's (even in the snow!)
That gives me eight solid weeks. If I do this well, I should be able to get under 300lbs for New Year's - and wouldn't THAT be a kick-ass way to start 2016?
