A very odd mix of emotions …

Tried on my Dad's old top coat for the first time in 30+ years … and damn … it fits! The shoulders might even be a touch big, but I also don't want it feeling "fitted". I seem to recall my Mom having the lining replaced for Dad in the late 80's, and thankfully they retained the original label. Bristol, Va makes sense, as it's the city where I was born, and my Dad was an ETSU / UVa guy. Tried it on tonight over a blazer, and gosh - I suppose you can say something about DNA - the cut & fit is damn near perfect for me. When I realized a button was missing, I thought to myself that if it'd happened to me, I'd have put the button in a pocket for safekeeping - exactly where I found it! My weight loss journey has been amazing, but tonight I was gobsmacked into silence, feeling a deep connection to my long departed Dad.

Damn …

Chasing The Flamingo

For those wondering if I'm "sticking to it" with this damn surfboard, the short answer is YES.

…but I gotta tell 'ya, this shit is HARD!

Developing a sense of balance, especially in a body that has recently lost 200+ lbs, my new geometry can be tough to figure out, and maybe it's just easier for kids and not-so-much for those of us (almost) in our mid-50's?

My routine is to attach the leash to the pool ladder (good tip Jason!), and practice paddling. Good shoulder workout, which I need, regardless. I start with 2 minutes of straight paddling, aiming for a certain point on the far wall of the pool (steering is hard). Then I practice dipping the board front/back & side/side and correcting as best I can. (Balance, you Fat Bastard!) Then I sit up on the board (which is a new center of gravity - ugh), and paddle / dip in each direction. I've gotten pretty good up to this point - regardless of the ab workout - but here - I lay down and try to knee/elbow plank … and … sploosh. Start routine again. 50 paddle strokes, dip/dip & side/side, sit & repeat, the plank & sploosh.

The pool robot is intent on attacking me, distracting me, and seems to enjoy inciting my rage. He's fired. Fred The Flamingo is seemingly intent on sneaking up behind me. Bastard. If he's not careful, he'll get deflated for the rest of the pool season. Clyde & Cyrus hear me cussing and they wisely keep their distance.

I do my 'routine' at least twice a week for 30 minutes. While I'm getting 'better', I've not really developed any noticeable proficiency yet. Sigh. Imagine if I had to load the board on The Jeep, drive to The Lake, put on a wetsuit, and practice in the waves? I'd give up for sure! Hopefully I can develop 'some' proficiency so I can have a small hope of actually catching a wave - which will make it all worthwhile!

…and just in case this all seems crazy & contrived, I was happy to see that 'real surf schools' teach things the same way. The only difference is how much I'm older, slower, stubborn & ugly.

Two Years of Radio Silence

Two years ago I was in a very bad place. A couple of decades of stress, mental anguish, and exhaustion had resulted in severe metabolic dysfunction. My cravings were out of control, and my weight hit it's record high at 475. This drove snoring & sleep apnea, resulting in A-Fib. I was on a ton of medication, felt terrible, and I was in constant pain. My heart went out of rhythm, and when they put me under anesthesia to shock me into "re-boot", it failed. The Cardiologist maxxed out the voltage & tried again with no success. He hooked up a second machine and double-shocked me, again with no positive result. While I was in recovery from the anesthesia & paddle burns, the Cardiologist told my wife I had simply gotten big enough that they couldn't put enough voltage through me to re-boot. I was too heavy & risky for surgery. If I stayed in A-Fib too long, it'd become permanent, and it put me on a direct path to "other cardiac events" that they would not be able to unwind. I had to do something dramatic, and immediate. In the car on the way home, with my head pounding from the anesthesia hangover, my wife railed at me in fear. Her bottom line: Handle it, or don't. But if the answer is "No", I had to sit the kids down & tell them why.

(Insert guilt-knife into heart!)

This all happened two years ago, yesterday. Needless to say, I handled it. I am now, literally, half the man I was. My heart has been in good sync for 20 months, 3 times longer than my previous best. My heart is 40% the size it used to be. I am now on only ONE daily medication! I am in ZERO daily pain, I sleep like a teenager, I no longer snore or have sleep apnea. I feel amazing, and I'm in SUCH a consistently good mood my wife finds it maddening!!!

So - what did the Cardiologist recommend? In November of 2019 I had Gastric Sleeve Surgery. I was terrified, and it was awful, and I felt like a failure - but it's how desperate I was. I had wrestled with my weight & health for two decades, and the fight had literally brought me to the brink.

The surgery saved my life. It has been a gift, and my only regret (now) is not doing it DECADES ago! But it was not a 'Silver Bullet', and it's been a learning journey to use it properly. It has still been an astonishingly long hard walk through hell, but it has given me the ability to have the hard work pay off in progress.

Part of what I've learned is that our modern processed food fools our brains. The chemicals in the food mimic what our bodies crave for actual nutrients, while other chemicals in the food reinforce those cravings. Some of us are more susceptible than others, but for me, it re-wired my brain & physically damaged my metabolism.

Where I'm at now, driving my continued success after my plateau in Jan - March is with two of Marty Kendall's programs. Data Driven Fasting was Step One - which is like Intermittent Fasting 2.0 - but instead of a randomly assigned window on the clock, you use your own body's 'gas gauge' to determine how long your daily Fast should be. If you ate carbs for last night's dinner, you might be waiting longer today as that burns off - no need to gas up if you still have fuel in the tank! This critically allows me to re-adjust my brain - no more do I accept the feelings of 'sugar crash' as 'hunger'! I wait until my blood glucose is genuinely getting down appropriately, and what THAT feels like is actually real "hunger". It's eye opening, I tell you! That Data Driven Fasting / Hunger Training got me back to losing weight & figuring out my 'new normal'.

Now I've gone Step Two - figuring out how / what / why to re-feed my unique body & metabolism once my Fast ends. We are all fascinatingly unique metabolic snowflakes, and as I go through the Nutritional Optimizer Master Class it's astonishing to see how I can look at my actual micronutrients to see where I'm deficient, and I can find ways to get those - AND KILL THE CRAVINGS at the source!

Yes, it's different. Total pain in the ass. LOTS of work…

…but dammit, I'm still here!