Back at it

It pains me to write this, but it will explain my long absence:

I have gained back EVERY pound I lost in 2013-2015, and even gained a few extra.

I feel awful, and my "new" smaller clothes no longer fit. At 450lbs, my feet, ankles & back constantly hurt. My energy is terrible, and my sleep is light, fitful, and I wake up exhausted & aching.

I'm a real joy to be around...

It all came back shockingly quickly. I don't even know the last time I posted, nor do I know the last time I went to aqua fit or rode my bike.

I got laid off at the end of August, spent most of September terribly sick (walking pneumonia), and then October was miserable & rainy...and suddenly I found myself constantly short of breath & wearing stretchy pants.

Then, I had a series of job interviews, and last week I started a new job! This job is wonderful, checking 9/10 boxes I've long thought of as designating the ideal position for me.

...but my first day, I showed up out of breath & drenched in sweat. When I found my way to the lunchroom I was pleased to find it's run by the same company I got all my fantastic lunch salads back in 2013-2014.

Right then I decided to change.

Hell, I know what to do, right? I've run this playbook before, with GREAT success! The downtown walk is fabulous for me, the lunchroom salad bar is fantastic, and I'm an old pro at prepping my simple "grab & go" breakfasts ahead of time.

My complicating factors will be:

1. Having the willpower to weekly prep breakfasts & after school snacks (but I've done it before)

2. Having the willpower to make good choices at dinner (again, I've done this before)

3. Having the willpower to resist all the "kid food" in the house (don't kid yourself, The Struggle Is Real! This was my achilles heel 2016/2017)

4. Managing my sleep, the snoring, and the A-Fib it causes

5. Moving my fat butt

If I learned nothing last time, I learned that nothing succeeds like success. In the beginning I'll drop weight & need new pants, and everything will be fun & great. But eventually the losing gets thin, and it gets tough to see progress on a week to week basis. Honestly, I'm not sure how to power through that this time, I just know I can't go on like I am - so - dammit, I have to try. I may be on the cusp of 51, but I'm too damn young to feel the way I do!

Updates to follow - but in the meantime, the picture shows that I'm getting in the groove with my food.